Today I had to say...

"I'm sorry" to one nine year old boy. His behavior was the last straw, in a series of stressful moments, and I reacted to his 'huffing' at me out of frustration.

"Being perfect isn't possible, but I want to be." "Only God can perfect us, in Him, but I still try to do it on my own." "He completes us, but I'm often resistant to being completed." I have to keep telling myself "We can never enter His kingdom as we are, HE fills the holes in us", or I'll keep telling myself things that are half truths or aren't helpful at all, like the previous three statements.

Sometimes I give myself guilt as a mom thinking "I have to be the good example" or "I have to make all the right decisions." Tonight was humbling because I had to to admit to a nine year old boy that mom's aren't always a good example nor do they always make right decisions. That's why this mom loves Jesus. He fills my holes, completes me, and perfects me, even though I'm not worthy. My son was able to see me holes and all, and we were able to talk about how God fills them.

That nine year old granted me grace for losing my cool (even though I'm not worthy), without holding a grudge, just the way I envision Jesus would. (Thank you Lord for using my son to show me how you react.) I was humbled by how freely a nine year old boy accepted my apology. I was touched by how he clung to my hand with his sweaty fingers, as a peace offering continuing to say "it's okay!", long after his words had disappeared into the air, because he knew what I needed. How intuitive can one nine year old boy be?

The tough part is, I'm human and I forget. I'm sure to lose my cool again, and sooner than I'd like, even knowing the grace that I've been granted. I have to remind myself daily "being perfect without God isn't possible", "Only God can perfect us", and "He completes us."

That's what makes Him The King...

I'm reminded of one Allelon scripture we've been studying: Romans 15:7 "Wherefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God."

~One humbled servant and mom~